Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
being pregnant is like rehab
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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