New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
