I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
