I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
