I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
