I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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