Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize