Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
