at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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