we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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