you would pick up someone in the library
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
