I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
