For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize