I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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