i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
