I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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