He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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