franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
