your parents love me but you hate me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
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