If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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