took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
