Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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