Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
