It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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