We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
