Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize