even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
