Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
