The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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