We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
