Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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