nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize