Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
