Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Sorry about my life...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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