I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
