I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
