I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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