Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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