I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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