I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
