Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
