She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
