Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
