his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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