well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
