He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
