wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
