oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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