"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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