ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
