I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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