I haven't been this sober since birth.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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