How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
