she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
