wat bout pragnant strippers??
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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