After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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