well most of my day revolves around power hour
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize