you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
