absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
