its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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