If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
