I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
