my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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