I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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