Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
