Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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